A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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