If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
