Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
