I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
