is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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