Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Im part way to drunk.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize