I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
