There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
