If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
