Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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