well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
