We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
