You can't motorboat a personality
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
