he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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