i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
