is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
