so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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