May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
