dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
