ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
