Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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