I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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