i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
