I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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