I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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