I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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