I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
