She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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