whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Drunk is not a location!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
