He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
