I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
