Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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