this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
do nipples grow back?
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