Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
