just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
