why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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