So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
