Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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