she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
