i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize