I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize