So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
