woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
