Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

doug butabi!

(1-248): View more from Michigan

steve butabi!

(248): View more from Michigan

hotties wanna shake it

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(801): View more from Utah

My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"

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(619): View more from California

dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"

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(410): View more from Maryland

A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.

(410): View more from Maryland

and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with

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(540): View more from Virginia

Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right

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(630): View more from Illinois

Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.

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