One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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