Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
