I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
