I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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