went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i now understand why vodka
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
