i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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