We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
