Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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