Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
