I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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