like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
