Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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