my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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