Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
