For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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