he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
