hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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