i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
